


Mojitos and Mistletoe

by TheCrazyGeek



Category: Thick of It (UK)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-09
Updated: 2012-12-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 17:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/587779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrazyGeek/pseuds/TheCrazyGeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An xmas bet at work leads Nicola into the impossible art of catching Malcolm unawares...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mojitos and Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt on my Tumblr blog for 'Holiday Fic - Malcolm/Nicola - Mojitos and Mistletoe'

4 times Nicola tried to kiss Malcolm (and the time she succeeded)

 

1.       It started as a bet from Glenn, made one night after a staggering amount of drink with her and Ollie and Terri, that whoever managed to kiss Malcolm Tucker under the mistletoe this Christmas would win a tenner from the others. After Ollie had been threatened with a punch up the bracket by Malcolm for getting within 10 metres of him the next morning, Nicola had swiped the mistletoe and wandered over. She’d barely got a foot inside Malcolm’s office before she was chased out by a barrage of Celtic swearing.

2.       Thirty quid was thirty quid though and Nicola tried a slightly more subtle tactic of hanging the mistletoe over Malcolm’s desk when he was out delivering his morning bollockings the next day. When she came back later for a meeting with the irate Scotsman she found it replaced by a headless doll hanging from the ceiling with the words ‘no fuckin’ chance’ written on it. Malcolm, predictably, said nothing about it.

3.       After the office heard all about the epic 10 minute diatribe Malcolm had delivered to Terri about the things he’d rather kiss than her (dog turds, Jeremy Clarkson, his own arse) when she made her attempt to win the prize money, Nicola considered a different tactic. Speaking quietly to Sam, they agreed that she could join in the bet providing she helped Nicola with her next attempt. Sam pinned the sprig of mistletoe on the back of Malcolm’s chair and pointed out that if she came in toward the end of the day he’d likely be slumped down in his seat and it would thus count as ‘below the mistletoe’. Impressed with Sam’s creativity Nicola walked over to Malcolm’s office later that day confident the forty quid was as good as hers. Shame she hadn’t factored in Malcolm going home early for the first time in years.

4.       Her fourth attempt (which she’d planned to be a fast leaning-over-him peck on the cheek and a faster exit) was scrapped when Malcolm spent the whole of that day screaming down the phone at people. Sheer bad luck she’d chosen that day when the story about one of their MPs and a teenage hooker had broken.

5.       The office xmas party was in full swing and Nicola was drowning her defeat with a mojito or two. Nobody had won the bet, they’d either all been scared off or given up. Cursing the bloody high heels she’d worn that evening she limped on blistered toes to the bathroom and then wandered outside for a bit of fresh air – leaning against a wall out of sight of the door. Her reverie was interrupted by a waft of cigarette smoke and an all-too familiar voice saying “Ah, so ye couldn’t take any more of that shite either? Jesus it’s fuckin’ pathetic watchin’ half your colleagues try tae cop off with the other half. Like fucking hamsters in a cage”.

Malcolm. Of course. He rose up from his hidden perch by the flower beds and stubbed out a lit cigarette on the wall and stood next to her. “Did ye see Ollie try it on with Sam though? Fuck me that was hilarious. She barely left him with any skin after flayin’ it all off him”

Despite herself, Nicola chuckled. It had been pretty funny watching Ollie’s face grow steadily paler as Sam calmly told him in graphic detail what she’d do if he ever laid a finger on her. “You obviously taught her well” she remarked to Malcolm and was rewarded with a genuine smile.

“Aye, she’s a good student” he spoke with a paternal pride when talking about his PA, Nicola had learned a while ago that the young lady was one of the few things Malcolm ever truly cared about.

They stood together in silence for a while, a rare comfortable moment, before Malcolm spoke again. “Don’t ever make fuckin’ obvious attempts like that again”

“Sorry, what?”

“The fuckin’ mistletoe. Never at work ye daft bint.”

“Sorry Malcolm, it was a stupid bloody idea”

She jumped as his hand landed gently on the small of her back. “Aye, but we’re not in work right now” he said and pulled her close to him, planting a gentle brief kiss on her lips. She sighed as he broke off and he leaned down to kiss her more thoroughly, running a hand round the back of her neck with a caress that made her skin tremble.

“Happy Christmas Nic’la” he spoke with a grin afterward and flourished the stick of mistletoe he’d been hiding in his sleeve. “I’ve just won £50 from wee Jamie”


End file.
